|
“Living in the Spirit:
Households Will Be Divided” |
|
I grew up in a Christian family where
conflict was more evident than peace. My mother and father had their share of
some very vocal conflicts. I was at the center of fierce sibling rivalry
between me and my brother and sister. I didn’t like it – but I just thought
that is the way families are. I didn’t know that it could be different. In seminary, as I began to seriously study scripture, a different picture of family life began to take shape in my mind. I came to believe that, at least in Christian families, love ought to be the rule – peace and mutual respect ought to be the fruits of life together. When I married Suanne, neither of us wanted a life of strife, and so we looked for opportunities to nurture our marriage. We made a life-long commitment to build healthy marriages, beginning with our own. When our children were born, I didn’t want a life of strife with Stephen and Annaliese, so Suanne and I took parenting classes. Do any of you have a conflict-free family? Do any of you wish you had one? Too much of our family life is spent in conflict. Our adult fantasies are about family peace and unity. Why can’t love and respect be the family norm? Why aren’t Christian values the family standard? That’s what I’ve always wanted for our family. Isn’t that what you want for yours? Thirty-one years ago, I set some personal directions for my ministry. I have believed in the need for an emphasis of family nurture in the ministry of the Church. For that reason, Suanne and I have become trainers of parents, facilitators of marriage enrichment, and trainers of marriage enrichment leaders. I want to do what I can to improve relationships among the members of our church and community families. Through our baptism, we have become the family of Jesus. We are a spiritual family bound together in a mystical way. But it is a family whose values change everything! When we are introduced to the life-changing power of Jesus, we begin to change emotionally – and motivationally. It is a moment when the fire of God’s breath – the Holy Spirit – blows over us and within us – and the change begins. What might “a new life in Christ” do to a family who insists on continuing to live with the old standards and values? Most of you know his story: Francis had it all. A typical rich kid, he wore the latest fashions – the “in,” cool stuff that everybody else wanted. He ate great gourmet meals cooked by the family chef. He didn’t have to worry about the future – he was in line to inherit the family’s very successful business. But while he was still a teenager, he was introduced to the life-changing power of Jesus’ Christ – and he was never the same again. Neither was his family Francis believed that God wanted him to live like Christ in the most radical way possible. God called him to a life of poverty, chastity and obedience. His family went to church (everyone in town did), but they were flabbergasted by the whole radical “Jesus” thing. They didn’t know what to do with him. One time, during a family argument, he literally stood in the front yard and stripped off his designer clothes. Standing there, totally naked, he handed them to his father. Of course, the family was embarrassed! Wouldn’t you be if your child – or brother – did that in your front yard? The family of Francis of Assisi lost their son and brother to Christ! Following Christ means living a different kind of life. Sometimes, being obedient to the call of God divides families when members of the household challenge faith. What can I say? I won’t try to deceive you. To follow Jesus will sometimes break old loyalties and bonds. Sometimes, to follow Jesus means that family members will not understand and there will be heart-wrenching tension in your relationships. Sometimes, when you truly and completely follow Jesus, your family may even reject you. The scholar and preacher, William Willimon, tells of a college professor who reads a letter to his class each year. It is a letter from a parent to a government official. In it, the parent complained that his once obedient and well-motivated son had become involved in some weird religious group. The group had completely taken over his life, forced him to forsake all of his friends, and turned him against his family. In the letter, the writer pleaded with the government official to intervene and take action toward this disruptive group that had so jeopardized his family’s unity. The group was not the Hare Krishna – or Scientology – or Moonies. The letter is a composite of a group of letters that third-century Roman parents had written to complain about a weird religious group called “Christians.” One of the chief criticisms that Romans had about Christianity was that its teachings eroded the Roman family – were even anti-family! Their complaints were that Christians turned Roman children against their parents and that they encouraged wives to disobey their husbands. (Can you imagine that?) Actually – I can’t imagine what the problem was – Suanne hasn’t obeyed me once in thirty-four years of marriage. To follow Christ means that there might be a clash of family values. When we realign our allegiances to the Kingdom of God – when we claim a new and eternal life in Christ – went we love Jesus and love the world the way Jesus does – when we begin to live under the guidance of the Holy Spirit – things are different! When we live in God’s Spirit, we develop a sensitivity to the needs of the human family. When we live in the Spirit, we understand that everything we have is a gift from God – and that we have a responsibility to use those resources according to God’s will instead of our own! When we live in the Spirit, we adopt a spiritual understanding of what is right and wrong, and we make decisions based on God’s morality instead of our own! When we live in the Spirit, we recognize that our days are God’s, and we use each hour with Christian priorities. - - When we live in God’s Spirit, the peace of the average Johnson County family will be broken. The average Johnson County household will be divided! How could it not be? I believe that God truly wants intimacy, and creativity, and joy, and growth, and affection, and peace, and mutual respect, and love for Christian marriages. We can have that! This coming Saturday night, some members of our congregation and community will come together to organize this year’s Marriage Enrichment Groups. These are groups of five to eight couples that meet once a month from September through May, for the purpose of making good marriages better. If you are married, you owe it to yourself to bring your spouse to that meeting to see if a group like this would benefit you. I believe that God truly wants for Christian families a happy environment based on equality, and mutual respect, and open communication, and discipline instead of punishment, and nurture, and encouragement. We can have that! In the spring, Suanne and I will be teaching another session of Systematic Training for Effective Parenting on eight consecutive Sunday nights. If you have children or grandchildren – or even occasionally care for a child, I hope that you will consider being a part of that group. These are at least two ways that Bread of Life can help families – your family – to more clearly reflect the loving principles of Christ’s way. Luke’s gospel reminded the early Church that the Christian life brought about a new life that disrupted the old one. It divided households when not all decided to follow Jesus. I believe that the church ought to be a place where families are united and healed instead of being torn apart. I believe that through the combined efforts of God’s Holy Spirit, your family members, and other Christian families, Bread of Life can be a place that encourages rich, joyful relationships and spiritually healthy households. I am willing to use my time and resources to help that to happen. Are you? Let us pray: O Gentle Lover, when we claimed your Son as our Lord, we did not fully appreciate what you were asking of us. Your Spirit has entered our lives, we have begun the change from “old creature’ to “new creation,” and the tension between the two is sometimes painful! This morning, give us the courage to turn away from the old, and embrace the new. May our congregation always be an agent of healing, education, and encouragement as our families attempt to become more perfectly yours. In your Son’s name, Jesus, we pray it. Amen. |